I have been quite reserved to post a photo wearing less than full clothing, but with friends doing it and sharing their more than inspirational experiences, I feel like I too can reveal myself.
At 16, I didn't look past the scale when it said 186, but my assumption was that it didn't get any better that following summer. (To put me into perspective, my boyfriend was 6'8, at least 325+. Referring to another photo).
Less than 2 years later, I figured out that losing weight in an unhealthy way, would not do. It landed me in the hospital, to which I lied to my parent, as to the reason why I was there. I knew I couldn't lie to myself.
It takes a lot of practice, experimentation, honesty but I knew that if I wanted to look like what I do now, it would take a lifestyle and lifetime commitment.
In 2002, I felt the first time that I understood what it meant to bring all aspects of health together as I felt the success.
2003, I had my daughter, I reached a lovely, and comfortable 206 lbs! The process is not always easy and we fall into old habits and ways; hopefully, overtime, our consciousness will not allow or accept personal untruths.
19 years later and in this case, enjoying food, self, the simple fact that I have a body that I can use, have full function of my life and limbs, I will use them. Until they retire.
Per our original ideals, just because I wanted to look this way on the outside, at that time, I didn't know that it was how I understood and felt about myself that would get my body here.
As I am honest with myself about what works and doesn't, my body has decided to do this. Apparently, because I enjoy the food, the exercise, my lifestyle, this is what I get on the outside.
I just pray , that the inside is truly doing just as well;-)
Repost 8/18 - It's been a while since I posted this; A friend needs to see it.
It's not the destination, it's the journey and how we treat ourselves along with others on the road...
This body and mind, is what it is. I am not perfect. I was told, "they" see me as having room for improvement, ie, things I cannot change, loose skin, scar tissue, "natural beauty", not wearing heals or more makeup more often, cutting or dying my hair sooner...
I too know that I have room to improve, but my opinion and perspective is different from theirs...
It is always within the qualities of how to be more honest, with more integrity and truth in compassion and words, for self and others. Patience, finding the most honorable words. Living these words, in this life.
In my whole life, I have wondered why people are so scared, of being this within themselves and outwardly. I know, I had been programmed, I am learning.
We are so confused... Fed so many different messages. Even though we know the untruth, it can be sad, depressing, debilitating.
We don't have to tolerate it or be it any longer, outside or inside.
Oh yeah... Just say, "fuck it" with a smile on your face!